Let There Be Sex...
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can by." Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." Matt Berry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder of Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Former First Lady, Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, they know what they're doing. Just show them somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." Matt Berry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder of Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Former First Lady, Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, they know what they're doing. Just show them somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
This is the third time I've tried to leave a comment here. Don't know what Blogger's so anxious about.
Anyhow, particularly loved the Sharon Stone quote. Will have to repeat that one myself.
Posted by
terrette |
3:15 AM
People like to think Humans are no longer animals, that we have rational and reason. We do things for the good of this and the good of that. I got one word for those people, sex.
Posted by
Frederick |
4:18 AM
Obviously Matt Berry has not met the right feminists...some of my best sex has been with feminists. ;) Who's Matt Berry, anyway?
Love the Sharon Stone quote!!! (not that I've ever faked it...)
Posted by
Blue |
7:19 AM
Many of those quotes made me laugh on a morning when I didn't think I felt much like laughing. Thanks, sumo :)
Posted by
pissed off patricia |
8:34 AM
Now, this is a great list of profound truths! That they are funny, too, takes nothing away from their obvious wisdom. Personally, I am hoping that the day will come when my directions in life will not be dictated by that little "compass needle". If possible, before I die.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:56 AM
Welcome terrette...
I'm sorry I don't know who Matt Berry is...I got this in an email and knew I had to share it. Mr. B sounds like he isn't necessarily fond of the fems though.
I was particularly taken by Ma Babs and her take on oral sex. Who would have thought?!!! I think I'm rather shocked! Though in a good way...it shows she must be human afterall...or she simply is putting it down...heh heh! I try real hard not to use a visual on it...wiping tears from eyes!
Posted by
sumo |
1:46 PM
I wonder why people equate feminists with lack of sexual libido. Pretty sexy post here, Sumo.
Posted by
Peacechick Mary |
2:42 PM
"Let There Be Sex"
Talk about magical thinking, I keep thinking that and it keeps NOT happening! D'oh!
I was gonna post this earlier but blogger was playin' hard to get.
Just like a ... naaaah. I won't say it.
{-;
Posted by
Michael Bains |
2:38 AM
Heh heh...I know what you mean!
Posted by
sumo |
2:47 AM
Thanks, sumo; I needed a good laugh! Sex is great, humor is just as great, and the two in combination are indescribably wonderful.
I'm glad to see terrette over here. Go read her blog, remind her she's one of the best writers on the web, and suggest that she leave off this grad school nonsense and blog full time! :)
Posted by
Steve Bates |
10:02 PM