Sumo Merriment

Just check this out...you'll never believe this in a million years. You may think you've got it tough these days...but a guy in Warsaw, Poland just happens to take the cake. The way the story goes is...he got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and found his wife among the employee's of the titillating establishment. Seems his wifey needed to make some extra cash on the side...all the while telling her hubby that she worked in a store in a nearby town. The super-shocked husband said..."I was dumbfounded. I thought I was dreaming." This precious couple has been married for 14 uneventful years...until recently. Divorce looms large on the horizon it seems. Well...that will teach you to seek your extra shekels in a more acceptable manner.


And then there is all knowing Dr. Phil sticking his big nose into everyone's business but his own. I read among other odd stories...(you know I'm all about the odd)...that the Spears family...you guessed it...the Pop Tart's family...wanted Dr. Phil to go see Britney at the hospital and talk to her and see if he could make any sense with her situation at Cedars Sinai loony bin. Just what they thought this would accomplish is beyond me...but they were hoping for something at any rate. But it seems that Britney was packing to leave the next day so his window of opportunity was quite slim. This is what got the clown in hot water. He made a statement to the media and it went something like this..."somebody needs to step up and provide a vector to get this young woman into some quality care...I do not apologize one whit, not one second." You guessed it! Mom and Dad Spears got vexed at what clowny said about their daughter and took great umbrage that he stomped on their trust. Well...there you have it...another day in paradise...another family in crisis mode. I'm tearing my hair out as I type...my pain for them is palpable. Obviously, the money train is in jeopardy...serious jeopardy.


And speaking of God's wrath...when something like this happens...you know you've got it tough without a contest...hands down...(pun intended)...when you have seen the mark of the beast on yourself. I know when I see the mark on myself...frequently I might add...I just know that my next move will be to take the circular saw and cut off my hand. But wait...it gets better! Before I call 911...I stick the thing in the microwave and cook the crap out of it. It is the least one could do after seeing that they bore the mark. Okay, okay...it wasn't me...it was a nutter kid in his mid-twenties that perpetrated this toughie on himself. I give him credit for fortitude...yes I do. How many people can stand by and watch their hand cook in the microwave...and smell it wondering which bar-b-que sauce to slather on it. This is Idaho we are talking about here...and he calmly called the authorities. One of the Sheriffs observed that this kind of mental illness is just sad. This observation was just gold. The book of Matthew contains the passage: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." Well...that's always useful to know...it may come in handy some day...heh!


While this one is odd...it is in no way funny...it's all in the numbers and there's a boatload of them. The victims of Hurricane Katrina have finally thrown out a sum of reckoning for their pain and suffering...and it is enormous. There are 489,000 claims filed against the federal government regarding the damage of the levees and flood walls. See...they failed miserably...so they are seeking recompense...including a plaintiff that is seeking $3 quadrillion dollars worth. That is a sum hard to imagine. This is a tad easier though...of the total number of claims...247 of them seek $1 billion each. That's is a bit easier to swallow under the circumstances that is. Is there even that much money in the world? $3 quadrillion? Who are they kidding?


So now a younger generation is liking the cough syrup. Where have I been all these years...that this delight has managed to pass me by without a wink or nod? Oh, I don't think so! I can't abide the stuff...the only way I can get it down is to pinch my nose so I won't taste it and rinse my mouth out while still pinching...so I won't taste it. Ewww! I guess the little darlings (3.1 million...ages 12 to 25) have used over-the-counter cough and cold medicine to get high for some time now. How inventive of them. In mega doses...cough syrups and cold pills can be used to induce hallucinations...you know...out-of-body experiences...and other effects of course...always enjoying the other effects. This said...by officials. Well...who in the hell are these officials...and why are they saying these awful things? Oh...here it is...a survey conducted in 2006...conducted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration...or...SAMHSA. That's as official as it gets...I guess. We've really got to corral the kids of today...so they aren't the zombies of tomorrow.


And on that note of the odd, wait until you get a load of this. Massachusetts to handout heroin overdose kits. Yeah, that caught my eye right off the bat. Why would they want to give people overdoses? I knew I had to read this one for sure. Well...it seems that the state sees the program as a way to save people who aren't ready for treatment yet. Well...isn't that nice. They don't want to seek treatment and get away from that monkey on their back...(heroin)...so they'll take the overdose kit instead so they can just go on abusing themselves on the taxpayers dime. That makes lots of sense to help people this way...I don't know why I didn't think of it ages ago. I am embarrassed indeed. Massachusetts officials next month will begin distributing kits to heroin addicts that include medication to treat overdoses. Advocates say the kits will help treat overdoses quickly, safely and without fear of addiction, and will be beneficial in a state where more people die from heroin than firearms. Each kit contains two doses of a medication called Narcan, which one addict can squirt up the nose of another addict who has overdosed. The drug, known generically as naloxone, causes no long-term side effects, specialists said. A single dose costs about $20. You can't make this stuff up!


This bit of odd and awful...you do not want to see. It seems there is a program out there for drink addled or drug using doctors to go into rehab and still practice on their patients. The operative word here is "practice" on their patients while undergoing treatment for addictions. Needless to say...there were pictures showing just how some of these patients had been practiced on. Not pretty. An obstetrician delivered a baby "dead drunk" according to the witness...and when he was through there was a new born baby with a severed spinal cord. I could understand putting the doctors business and license on hold while he had to clean up his act. But to still get to practice medicine on anyone while being treated in an on-going fashion is hard to understand. Especially if you'd seen the pictures of botched up surgeries. This allows physicians to keep their addictions hidden from their patients...not a good prescription for health by any means. Nation wide there are about 8,000 doctors in this program. 8,000 too many in my opinion.


There you have it...the odd and awful. I'm not good at predictions for the coming year...or I'd have regaled you with my brilliance. But I do have an uncanny attraction to the different side of life...and I love to share it. It was just the tip of the iceberg anyway. There's more where that came from I'm afraid. Oops...gotta go...that other dimension is coming for me again...

cross-posted from TheBlueRepublic

Posted by sumo on Friday, January 11, 2008 at 10:17 PM | Permalink Return to Top